7 Common Lies to Stop Telling Yourself to avoid accountability and justify mediocrity and...
Stopping Negative Behaviors Before They Stop You
Do you have negative behaviors that you want to get a handle on? Whether it’s something you do to sabotage yourself or an action that annoys others, it’s essential to examine the impact of what you’re doing.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could arrest your problematic behaviors before they create negative consequences for you?
Try these techniques to stop engaging in troublesome behaviors before they become detrimental to your life:
- Claim the power you have to stop the actions that bother you. Look in the mirror and say it aloud: “Only I can stop (fill in the blank).” Then, vow to yourself to make a concerted effort to cease the actions. The more frequently you practice this technique, the more effective it will be. The mind responds to repetition. Whatever you feed your mind the most will have the most significant impact on your behavior.
- Pay closer attention to what you’re doing. So much of what we do each day is done without aforethought. If you consciously focus your thoughts on any actions you’re about to take, you’ll have an increased chance of deleting the troublesome behaviors from your repertoire. Please take a few seconds to ask yourself whether your words or actions will produce the desired outcome you are looking for or will they create more problems.
- Slow down your thinking. When your mind starts racing, it’s your first clue that you might be about to take an action you may later regret. Take a deep breath and re-focus on taking positive action instead.
- Identify situations, people, and events that trigger your negative behavior. For example, perhaps in social situations, you talk too much. You interrupt others, finish their sentences, and other people have little opportunity to speak. Take an introspective look at yourself and your annoying behavior. When is it most likely to happen? When you understand your triggers and the things that generally promote poor behavior, you can be better prepared to avoid them or move differently than you usually would when you find yourself in those spaces.
- Decide what you’ll do instead. Make a plan for what you’ll do in place of the negative behaviors. For example, what could you do instead of speaking if you want to stop talking too much in a social situation?
- Keeping with this example, you could decide to “experiment” by listening to others to see what you can learn from them. You would talk less and practice listening each time you’re in a social situation. Later, ask yourself, “How did I do? How did it feel to listen instead of talk?” Learning the listening skill is also immensely integral to developing effective communication skills.
- Who knows what great things could happen from deciding to cease your troublesome behavior!
- Ask close friends and family members for their assistance in stopping the behavior. For example, tell your sister/brother that you’re trying to stop interrupting people so much. Ask them to touch your elbow at the family reunion tomorrow whenever she notices you interrupting. This way, you’ll have a cue to stop the behavior.
- If it affects others, say you’re sorry when you engage in the behavior. Staying with the example of talking too much, as soon as you realize you interrupted someone, say, “I’m sorry I interrupted you. Please do go on. I’m interested in what you were saying.”
- Showing humility will help you learn to stop the old behavior and change it to more effective action.
- Seek expert guidance if you need it. If you’ve been working on your troublesome actions for a while and have had less success than you want in stopping them, asking a professional to assist you can be a big help.
It’s up to you to avoid behaviors that cause you difficulties or discourage people from wanting to spend time with you. Banish your unwanted behaviors for good by putting the above steps into action. Remember, only you can stop your negative behaviors before they stop you! While talking too much was the theme here, poor behaviors can range from being physically aggressive to avoiding necessary conflict to resolve issues. Having access to professional support can assist you with effectively changing your unwanted behavior. If you desire to work with a professional to help with certain undesirable behaviors, email LifeChange@rickwallacephd.link.
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